this is how much I love you

You were conceived in me

Way before I was

My true child this is why I love you.

I have nursed you

more with vengeance and pride

My true child this is why I love you.

You wild untamed wench

Your animistic world

is built with my animosity

My true child this is why I love you.

You have played in the fields

of luscious memories and worst nightmares

of terrible thoughts and paranoia

My true child this is why I love you.

You have grown full well

You have ripened now

You have the strength to embrace

My true child this is why I love you.

You look dandy

Draped in fear and wrath

Even better in rage and lust

My true child this is why I love you.

Your tears are tarnished

with love and losses

over spilt blood and hissing fossils.

My true child this is why I love you.

You will never sleep

You are bestowed with eternal awakening

No song of mine could crumple you more

My true child this is why I love you.

If you think you suffer more than I do

You are wrong. I look into your eyes

All the time. I see what you see

You haunt me when I am wide awake

The constant longing

The constant pining

I’ve stretched my arms far too long

It hurts. If only I could reach you

Just once….

……………..

……………...

Nothing else could hurt me more.

………………

This is how much I love you.

Stay still. Wait here.

My womb cringes

My perversity swells

You are not a gift

You are my responsibility that’ll never be born

An aneurism that curbs my want

You my true child are my magic charm.

10 November 2002

(from the red file)

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